I know a lot of guys get friendzoned almost every day. And that’s the reason why I am addressing them today. And if you are one of them, I request you to patiently read what I have to say to you.
Mr. Mohnish Bahl once said, “Ek ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte.” The same thing was said to you over and over by your parents. Of course, we can’t blame them. Unfortunately, this is how the society functions. The genius who wrote the dialogue for Mr. Behl is a product of this society too. So, almost all the films that we have seen so far have had the same plot. The boy and the girl are the best of friends. But, by the time the film reaches its climax, they fall in love. The same was repeated to you by your friends, siblings, and cousins.
So, when a guy asksfor a pen in class, the girl assumes he is flirting with her. When she offers to share her lunchbox, he assums she is in love with him. And how can you forget the melodious tracks that teach ‘has mat pagli pyaar ho jayega‘ to the young generation. Men believe in the concept of ‘hasi toh phasi.’ Also, when a girl uploads a picture on Facebook, men assume it is for them. And when they go ahead and like it, girls believe they are besotted with them.
This is natural. And the society is to be blamed here. Why? Because it teaches that men and women can’t share any other relationship other than being in love. But, not everything that the society teaches us is true.
Since I am a girl, I will tell you things from a feminine point of view. It’s really difficult to guess who likes you, treats you as a friend, and who wants more. So, if you are a girl and an extrovert, you might come across a lot of men every day. Most of them would also like to ask you for your number. But, once they do so, you feel scared. You realize they are hitting on you. On the other hand, their friends are looking for an opportunity to call you bhabhi.
Mr. Shah Rukh Khan once said, “Pyaar dosti hai.” True that. But, he forgot that friendship is also friendship. Not love.
So, when a girl gets promoted, people assume that she has slept with the boss. Or when she tops in class, people assume that she sleeps with the teacher. People just refuse to believe that a woman who excels in life has many other qualities other than just sleeping with men.
In the film Befikre, Ranveer Singh says, “Wo date pe jaati hai toh mujhse poochti hai kya pehnu. Par shaadi kisi aur se kar rahi hai.” Well, I can imagine how friendzoned he must have felt because he was taught that a girl and a boy can’t just be friends.
So, let me tell you what girls really want. They want you to be their friends. In good times and bad. Go out with them, make them feel special, and hug them when they get sad. They are not using you. They just feel comfortable around you. So much so that they end up sharing everything with you. But, trust me: if they do love you, they will let you know. They don’t live in the 10th century, afraid to admit their feelings. Friend, is a good word. Friendzoned, not so. So, the girl you are pestering for a date has an evolved brain. Be friends with her. She will be a good friend to you.
Oh! Before you leave, listen to this song by Bob Dylan.
(The story was originally written by Prateeksha Pandey for The Lallantop and translated by Sarwat Fatima for OddNaari)